It is the best of times, it is the worst of times. (Just had to say that!) I’ve lived much of my life with very little technology and now use LOTS of technology. I absolutely love the access to information and worldwide connections that can be made with technology. Yet I also worry about the effects of technology on us and our families. Smartphones and tablets in particular seem to have a way of stealing time and important interaction from families and friends.
Posts about Being Present for Family and Friends
I’ve worried about this before. I have posts here called “Less Screen Time/More Family- and Outdoor Time” and “Are You Really Present for Your Family and Friends?” (Be sure to watch the video embedded in that post!)
I’ve taken to heart the post at the Atlantic called “The Art of Staying Focused in a Distracting World” with this important message: “Kids learn empathy in part through eye contact and gaze. If kids are learning empathy through eye contact, and our eye contact is with devices, they will miss out on empathy.” I try to unplug and put away my iPhone and iPad when I’m with family. I want my granddaughter to develop empathy … and to always know she’s much more important than my devices. I want my husband and kids/kids-in-law to know they mean much more to me than my devices, too.
Even with precautions, it’s too easy to find myself distracted by what I was doing earlier, to find myself not totally present. It’s a delicate balance that we have to deal with whenever we’re using the Internet and what almost seems to bring us into another reality.
More about Smartphones and Parenting
An article (“Don’t Text While Parenting–It Will make You Cranky”) making the rounds on Facebook gives more disturbing information. It says:
“A new study from Boston Medical Center reveals that parents who get absorbed by email, games or other apps have more negative interactions with their children, making them feel like they’re competing for attention with their parents’ gadgets.”
The article has some important suggestions:
“…setting aside devices during specific times, such as meal, story and bed times, can help to minimize any potentially distracting effects that smartphones have on parent-child interactions. Using the phone, says Swanson, “is not recommended at the dinner table — a time that we think is valuable to fostering cohesion.”
“Also, recognizing that responding to email or scanning Facebook while your kids are waiting or attempting to get your attention isn’t fair to them and could change the nature of your relationship with your kids if they don’t feel they are as important as the device. “These data are a wake-up call for we parents in that we really need to think about how these enticing devices not only distract us but potentially change who we are as parents,” says Swanson.”
The article has some important information about TV, too.
What Can We Do to Protect Our Family Time?
It’s so easy to get addicted to smartphones, tablets, and the Internet in general. I know what it’s like to raise kids without smartphones, tablets, or even the Internet. As much as I love technology, I’m thankful the Internet wasn’t available when my children were little. I know they would agree.
I hope we all take the time to think about what we need to do to be present for our families, to use technology in a positive way without letting it steal precious family time that we can never regain.
Do you have ways to protect your family from the negative influences of technology?
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Smartphones and tablets are definitely addicting not just for kids but for parents. I guess we as parents should know our priorities and that is quality time with our family. Facebooking and the the like is alright, but we should just limit our time for browsing. Thanks for sharing this! A good reminder for parents like us indeed!
Cheers!
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Couldn’t agree more. It’s really important that people take the time to live in the moment and recognize when they need to PUT DOWN the phone! I may be just as guilty as the next person, but I’ve been trying to stay more “present” on a daily basis, particularly when I’m with my family.
I think we need to start talking in person and forget all of the stupid pictures and video’s. I have one and don’t even look at it. If you don’t want to talk, please don’t text me!
I think technology has become a permanent part of our daily lives but like anything that should be used as a tool should never be used in place of relationships and genuine human contact. What I notice that is most disturbing is that I see parents (and even grandparents) setting the wrong example for their children in the way they use their computers, smart devices and phones. I actually was trying to have a conversation with someone which she allowed to be interrupted at least 5 times within 20 minutes to receive texts and return texts on her phone. Talk about feeling disconnected.. there’s been a very real loss of common courtesy, etiquette, and just plain respect that many have allowed to seep into their lives on a regular basis when using technology gadgets. There have also been studies showing this has a very negative impact on marriages as well. It would be great if everyone adopted a common standard of behavior when using smartphones, etc, and started to teach their children from infancy and toddler hood by definite guidelines on how to put people first before tech including video games and TV.
I really like this article, because so many people today are consumed his time on a smartphone. Very much present at a family sitting at home eating at one table but all family members are busy playing their respective smartphones. Thanks to the article, I really like
Your comments about negative effects of technology are interesting. The notion that you would have to protect your family and balance that goal out with practical uses is not a novel one, but is one worth considering.