One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing how to help your child manage difficult emotions. Neither permissive nor authoritarian parenting works to effectively manage them. I haven’t found anything more effective than gentle, positive parenting that gives freedom within limits. There are some positive parenting principles that I live by in both parenting (and now grand-parenting) and teaching.
Positive Parenting Quotes to Live By
Here are some of my favorite positive parenting quotes that sum up my positive parenting philosophy.
“Don’t let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one.” Glennon Melton-Doyle, Momastery
“It is one of those simple but beautiful paradoxes of life: When a person feels that he is truly accepted by another, as he is, then he is freed to move from there and to begin to think about how he wants to change, how we wants to grow, how he can become different, how he might become more of what he is capable of being.” Thomas Gordon
“Free the child’s potential, and you will transform him into the world.”
So important! Have faith in your child.
“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?” Jane Nelsen
“Let us treat them [children], therefore, with all the kindness which we would wish to help to develop in them.” (Dr. Montessori’s Own Handbook)
One of the best things about positive parenting is that it’s kind. It respects the child and is a model of how we want our children to act as parents and as people in general.
“Let us leave the life free to develop within the limits of the good, and let us observe this inner life developing. This is the whole of our mission.” Maria Montessori, Dr. Montessori’s Own Handbook
“Boundaries and discipline, when offered non-punitively and in the context of empathy and respect, are gifts we should feel proud of and one of the highest forms of love.” Janet Lansbury
One of the most important concepts in Montessori education is freedom within limits. The freedom part of the equation shows respect for the child and the child’s needs while the limits remove permissive parenting from the equation.
Discipline is helping a child solve a Problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solution not retribution.” L.R. Knost
“Want to help stop the bullying epidemic? Don’t act like a bully. Don’t hit, threaten, ignore, isolate, intimidate, ridicule, or manipulate your child. Children really do learn what they live…” L.R. Knost,
Work to make discipline a positive, rather than negative, experience.
“By making eye-contact, getting down to your child’s level, offering a touch, or using a tone of your voice that conveys a desire to genuinely connect, you disarm yourself. You make it possible to reach your child more deeply and truly move forward together.” Hilary Flower
“When you’ve had one call after another and your little one is tugging on your shirt, remember what really matters. When the milk is splattered all over the floor and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk; it takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit.”
Parents, choose your words wisely, carefully, thoughtfully. In the same way that violence begets violence and anger begets anger, kindness begets kindness and peace begets peace. Sow words of peace, words that build, words that show respect and belief and support.” L.R. Knost
It’s important to study the best ways to talk with children. Your words become their inner voice, and you want that voice to say positive things.
It’s always hardest to remember to acknowledge a child in the heat of a difficult moment, but if a child can hear anything during a temper tantrum, it reassures him to hear our recognition of his point-of-view. “You wanted an ice cream cone and I said ‘no’. It’s upsetting not to get what you want.” When a toddler feels understood, he senses the empathy behind our limits and corrections. He still resists, cries, and complains, but at the end of the day, he knows we are with him, always in his corner. These first years will define our relationship for many years to come.” Janet Lansbury
“Kids raised from birth on to feel safe expressing their emotions, who feel their parents are on their side, aren’t perfect. They’re easier to parent, though, because they’re better at managing their emotions, and therefore their behavior. They’re more willing to accept our guidance.” Laura Markham
“We all need someone who understands.” – Magda Gerber”
Learn to really listen to your child.
A child who has become master of his acts through long and repeated exercises, and who has been encouraged by the pleasant and interesting activities in which he has been engaged, is a child filled with health and joy and remarkable for his calmness and discipline.” Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child
“We must help the child to act for himself, will for himself, think for himself; this is the art of those who aspire to serve the spirit.” Maria Montessori, Education for a New World
By observing our children and encouraging their purposeful work and independence, we’re helping them develop self-discipline.
“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.” Jane D. Hull
Answer to question: “How can I make them stop misbehaving?” “Believe it or not – it has nothing to do with a consequence!! It is spending 1-on-1 time with your kids on a daily basis filling their attention baskets. We call it Mind, Body & Soul Time. Honestly – do this daily and you’ll see misbehavior start to fall off the radar screen!” Amy McCready
It’s easy to forget the importance of just being there, of spending as much time as possible with your child.
“OF COURSE I’d like to be the ideal mother. But I’m too busy raising children.” From the comic strip The Family Circus by Bil Keane
“Parenting has nothing to do with perfection. Perfection isn’t even the goal, not for us, not for our children. Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting.” L.R. Knost
This makes me smile every time: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. The mum in E.T. had an alien living in her house for days and never even noticed.” Unknown
You don’t need to be perfect! Work on accepting yourself and your imperfections. Being a “good-enough mother” (or father) is better than striving for perfection. When you’re more accepting of yourself, you’ll be happier … and so will your kids.
Do you have a favorite positive parenting quote?
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